"Eh, buona sera" Welcome to another stressful issue of "Only In Italy!"

Peppe, I'm an Italian-American, and I have to add that it's a curse of curiosity to my wanting to see what my ancestral race was like. Too bad I found out, the old adage, "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it!". Minchia! Che fancullato curse on humanity! Vincent

Grazie Vincenzo! You know what we've always wished for? The invention of a fascinating adjective like "fancullato". And we got it. Grazie again!   

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Rome - September 20, 2010 - Italian scientists say they have found the area in the brain that controls feelings of guilt, paving the way for better psychiatric treatment.

The Italian study, published in the international journal Human Brain Mapping, is a breakthrough because it is the fist time the site of a so-called social emotion, not a primal one like anger and joy, has been located.

Using brain scans a team led by Carlo Caltagirone of the Santa Lucia Foundation pinpointed the area where guilt arises in the front and back cingulum (white-matter tract) of the cerebral cortex.

"These brain regions, as is well-known, are involved in higher cognitive functions," Caltagirone said.

The discovery lays the groundwork for a better understanding of individual feelings as well as helping to target therapy to help people recovery from brain injuries, he said.

"Modifications of feelings are frequent after lesions to the brain or even cases of concussion, including non-serious ones.

"An understanding of the neurobiological basis of guilty feelings allows us to improve rehabilitation using cognitive and behavioral intervention".

"Mamma mia, auguri!" Congratulations! Finding the area in the Italian brain that controls feelings of guilt is more difficult than splitting the atom with mozzarella, a long piece of string, a paper clip and an old tractor!

Deep down all of us want to stop feeling guilty because it corrodes our emotional state. But look at the emotional state of Southern Italians. Do we feel guilty? "Cazzo", no. We're happy as pigs in slop. Let us explain...

Southern Italians have all been raised in a code of conduct that "pretends" to place a value on honesty. When we lie or cheat we won't feel guilty inside. As kids we were told that we are "bad" because we stole or lied BUT if you had to because (fill in any reason here) then, it's acceptable.

The Southern Italian society has indoctrinated the importance of "enjoying life" so deeply into the psyche of every child that it grows up feeling not guilty about relaxing. If you just hang around in a piazza or the beach on a weekday, you will not feel a pinch of guilt within you knowing that there are Italians up north hard at work (and whose tax money goes to support the Southerners).

How to overcome feelings of guilt, Sicilian style:

1.) Do not occupy your mind with whatever happened that may cause guilt.
"Per favore, I don't care. Besides, it's a beautiful day. I'm going down to the cafe."

2.) Each time a guilty feeling arises, instead of floundering around in it, take one positive step.
"I still don't care. It's a beautiful day. I'll have a cappuccino, grazie."

3.) Do a good deed. Helping others often helps.
"Beppe, I told her I didn't care. It was a beautiful day. How about a pizza on me?"

Messina - September 20, 2010 - Prosecutors are investigating this Sicilian city's second case in less than a month of a baby being born with serious health problems after doctors allegedly rowed during delivery.

The baby is in an induced coma and his state is said to be improving but still serious after parents said last week that medics quarreled over whether to perform a cesarean section.

Doctors at the hospital the child has been transferred to said he suffered from oxygen deprivation during a four-hour labor. His father, Nicola Mangraviti, 34, attacked the doctor who insisted the boy have a natural childbirth rather than a C-section.

At the end of last month Health Minister Ferruccio Fazio apologized after doctors came to blows during another delivery in Messina, causing a delay that may have left the newborn with brain damage.

Laura Salpietro, 30, had to have her uterus removed after hemorrhaging during birth, when her boy Antonio suffered two heart attacks. Scans have shown the boy has suffered from oxygen deprivation, although it is not yet clear whether the consequences will be permanent.

Salpietro and her child have both left hospital.

"Ma porca trota", before we go off on a rant we would like to point out a couple of interesting facts:

First, what some readers have to take into consideration is that Italy has the highest percentage of Caesarian sections in Europe. This has nothing to do with the health of the mother or unborn baby but with the convenience for the numbskull staff. Unfortunately, babies do not stick to a schedule when it's time to be born. They'll make their appearance in the Italian world when they're good and ready.

Doctors: "Hey, Signora, this baby was due yesterday. Cavolo, this is very inconvenient. Looks like we're going to speed things up overnight and go for a C-section tomorrow morning at 8:30 sharp. And no later because at 10:00 I have an appointment at the construction site where my apartment building is going up."

The second fact is a Sicilian hospital is a run-down coffee shop with knives...and it's becoming a pain in the "culo" for many Sicilians to trade goats for adequate medical care!

This story sent our incompetent cousin, Maurizio, off on a tirade again because he's convinced he was switched at birth at a Genova clinic. He constantly insists he doesn't belong here in Sicily. Our Uncle Pippo simply stares at him and says this is where he belongs.

Maurizio: "Ah si?! Cornuti, I belong to a funny farm!"

"I have a feeling that I'm an Armani..."
"I said, I'm an Armani, cazzo, and everyone just ignores it!"

Rome - September 20, 2010 - Just over one out of ten Italians, 10.5%, drive after consuming two or more alcoholic drinks, according to a new report from the Higher Institute of Health (ISS), released on Monday.

Most of these were said to be males between the ages of 24 and 35, the report added.

Aside from this minority, the report said, Italians appear to be law-abiding, cautious drivers and 82.4% wear their seatbelts while 94.2% of motorcyclists wear their helmets.

However, only 18.9% obey the law that says passengers in the back seat must also wear seatbelts.