Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.

Only In Italy is a daily news column that translates & reports on funny but true news items from legitimate Italian news sources in Italy.
Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.Only in Italy is a daily news column that reports funny and weird news on Italy, the mafia, Italian culture and Italian travel.
 
Subscribe to the OnlyInItaly.com  Newsletter:
Subscribe
   Unsubscribe
 
Home
Today's News
To the archives!
Mail a Mafia Threat!
Letter Samples
Order Stuff!
Why subscribe?
News Samples
Subscriptions
Our News Sources
People Are Talking
FAQs
Italian Resources
Customer Service
Your Privacy
 
Subscribe to the "Only In Italy" feed! Subscribe!
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My Google
Add to My Netvibes
Digg It!
Follow the News Staff:
Facebook
 
"Only In Italy" Italian News & Humor
OnlyInItaly.com
 
 
Adriana's Italian Gourmet Cookies
CookiesFromItaly.com
 
 
Caterina Collezione: Handcrafted Italian Sterling Silver Tableware
SilverFromItaly.com
 
 
Angela's Italian Organic Oregano
OreganoFromItaly.com
November 2009
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30          
"Class, Translate the Following in Latin: "Berlusconi Is a Peckerhead"

(11/16/09)

 

Sicilian Orange Almond Cookies! Sicilian taste that is sure to please. A soft and chewy almond cookie with a crisp outside and tender inside. Made exclusively from our own home grown natural almonds & bits of candied Sicilian oranges. No preservatives, additives, artificial colors, or flavors.

"Thank you for the wonderful cookies. They arrived quickly and were fresh and delicious. I live in northern Minnesota on the Ojibwe Indian reservation. The day I received the cookies, I was on my way to a policy council meeting where I shared your cookies with my Native American friends. They were delighted. Thank you again for the yummy treat! Best regards," Kiki W. (USA)

Whatever your favorite Italian gourmet cookie is Adriana's bakery will satisfy. Only from CookiesFromItaly.com!

Buon Giorno! Si si, siamo noi! Welcome to the newsletter that believes Berlusconi has more lives than a corrupt Roman cat. "Only In Italy!"

And we're back again after our 232nd hiatus! ("Porca puttana", it has to be a new record.) Hope everyone enjoyed the summer holidays as we did and is getting ready for the upcoming Holiday Season.

By the way, yes, we are well aware of what our Prime Minister of Peperoni, Berlusconi, has been up to these past months so, no need to send us further comments and feedback about him. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the fun of watching the psychodwarf crack under the immense pressure he's been receiving from the worldwide media.

Regardless of the fact we get a newsletter out once every 2-3 months, our subscriber base keeps growing and growing. We really don't know why. It's a stupid newsletter. We're just a bunch of jackasses expressing our anger, stupor, humor (and sometimes bitter love) for our beloved and disgraced country. Even though we have made ourselves barely heard via our site, OnlyInItaly.com, and newsletters, we actually keep a very active profile on Twitter.

But we're excited to be back again and we'll (probably) make it up to our readers with a more frequent and timely newsletter distribution. However; we'll be keeping up with the social media times of today by dividing our news casting time in a proportionate manner. We'll be spending most of our daily time on Twitter and Facebook while our newsletter will be written and distributed every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (hopefully).

Don't worry, we'll also be sending out a brief newsletter on Saturdays that will give a recap of that week's newsletters along with links to back issues we will eventually be putting up.

Enjoy the issue, keep writing and Grazie!

Tanti Saluti,             
"Only In Italy" Staff      


Latin Teacher Shocks Italian Government With Berlusconi Translations

Rome - November 13, 2009 - A Latin teacher in southern Italy who had students translate phrases about Premier Silvio Berlusconi caused a furor on Friday when the story received front-page coverage in a right-wing newspaper.

Reported in a daily owned by Berlusconi's brother, Angela Di Nanni's exercises referred to trials facing the premier after an constitutional court ruling last month quashing a law granting the premier immunity from persecution.

"Silvio Berlusconi will be called before judges," read one of the passages.

"Berlusconi is accused of corruption and fraud, but says he will not resign," read another.

The news article described Di Nanni as "a political militant" and accused her of "using a dead language to insult the premier".

The article concluded with a plea for teachers "not to contaminate the classics with their political anger".

But the principal of the school where Di Nanni teaches, Luciano Gigante, said she had no such intention.

"Di Nanni was just trying to get some of her more difficult students interested in the lesson," he said

The principal explained that the exercise came from a website popular among teachers that offers Latin versions of top news items.

"The students also translated a piece about the death of Michael Jackson," Gigante said.

"This is as all just a tempest in a teapot".

Local education officials called an emergency meeting after the article came out to decide whether the translations called for disciplinary action.

You see, sometimes, you have to motivate these Italian kids to strive for academic success (If they're not motivated, they simply vote with their smelly feet). And what better way to motivate the little nincompoops than with Latin and Italian politics?

"(Porca vacca!) Hey Mamma! I'm having a hard time translating this crap!"

Latin Homework Assignment: Translate the ramblings of a chuckle-faced Prime Minister:

1. "There are only about 100,000 people in law enforcement, while there are millions of beautiful women... Women have to be defended." (When asked by reporters about a proposal to deploy 300,000 troops to fight crime following a series of sexual assaults in Rome and other cities.)

2. "Italy is now a great country to invest in...Today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries." (During a visit to the New York Stock Exchange in 2003, he touted the benefits of doing business in Italy.)

3. "I trust the intelligence of the Italian people too much to think that there are so many 'coglioni' around who would vote against their own best interests." (He decided to insult his own fellow citizens by making this statement less than a week before parliamentary elections in Italy.

 

Italy Soccer Fans Protest Plans to Issue Stadium ID Cards

Rome - November 13, 2009 - A few hundred fans have marched through central Rome to protest government plans to require police-approved identity cards for fans to enter reserved sections of stadiums.

The Interior Ministry has said the cards offer benefits, such as priority in ticket purchases and a faster entrance to stadiums. But the cards are primarily a security measure since fans who have been convicted of violence in the past five years or been barred from matches won't receive the police clearance necessary to get them.

On Saturday, a few hundred fans from all over the country converged on Rome to denounce the cards. Many sported "No to the fan card" T-shirts and locked arms.

The protest was clouded by smoke from flares, but was largely peaceful.

"Andate tutti a 'fanculo!" The fans are right! They shouldn't have to carry ID cards!

If the Italian government wants to outlaw something it should outlaw soccer. Ever watch a typical Italian soccer game? You'd swear you think you were looking at National Geographic with a soccer ball!

If organized Italian soccer had to depend on this news staff for money, "cacchio," they would be in sad shape. Those soccer games are so stupid! We'll admit, we sometimes get caught up in the hysteria during the World Cup but to actually go to the stadium is out of the question.

Going to the stadium is the same as going to a hostile country. The fans act like wild animals. Itís not civilized. Itís frightening!

On any given seat, there's action. Then, at the end of the game, the stadium is handed over to the Italian cannibals and tribes who begin their war games. They should fill it with quick sand and vines so that they'll feel more at home. "Cavolo", and don't forget the snakes in the locker rooms.

So, if the government has to go forward with the ID card program, at least tattoo the ID card info on the fans' foreheads.

 

Save 50-60% with handcrafted Italian sterling silver directly from the factory in Italy. Caterina Collezione has been setting a "sterling" table since 1972 and has created a collection of Italian sterling that is second to none. For Italian sterling flatware, tableware, and giftware, Caterina Collezione is the place for selection, quality and service.

"I will definitely be showing off my table/silver over the holiday period and beyond." Wynta D. (Bossier City, Louisiana)

Take a look at our grand catalog and you'll find that perfect & unexpected wedding and anniversary gift characterized by the respect of traditional Italian artisanship! Only at SilverFromItaly.com!

 

Italy's Heavy Metal Monk Shuts Off His Mike

Italy's Heavy Metal Monk Shuts Off His MikeMilan - November 13, 2009 - Italy's "Brother Metal," a 63-year-old monk who became famous for singing in a heavy metal band (habit and all) is hanging up his microphone, saying the devil made him too much of a celebrity for his own good.

The white-bearded Cesare Bonizzi, a Capuchin who recorded CDs for a punk label and was the lead singer for the band Fratello Metallo (Metal Brother), said the devil was up to his usual mischief.

"The devil has separated me from my managers, risked making me break up with my band colleagues and also risked making me break up with my fellow monks. He lifted me up to the point where I became a celebrity and now I want to kill him," the monk said in his farewell video.

The video shows one of the monk's band members shaving off Bonizzi's long mane of white hair as a sign of his turning a new leaf on life.

For years Bonizzi performed at concerts wearing his traditional Franciscan brown robe, sandals and white rope around his waist.

His second heavy metal CD was called "Mysteries," and was inspired by a group of southern Italian women who sang about the Virgin Mary.

Bonizzi, who fell in love with heavy metal when he attended a Metallica concert some 15 years ago, says fame had put him on the wrong path. But he still thinks heavy metal can be a means to spread the gospel message of pace and love.

"I think that metal is the strength of music itself. Metal is a brother," he said in the video.

"Dio mio", if only the vast majority of remarkably untalented celebrities followed his logic.

We can't believe he has a fan club. If he does they probably meet in a confessional.

"The devil has separated me from my managers, risked making me break up with my band colleagues..." Hmmm... It appears the good monk was being led astray by the "Devil of Solo Careers".

Devil: "Come on, let yourself go. Did Springsteen need the E Street Band?"

And we would love to meet the possessed record producers who thought a heavy metal CD, inspired by southern Italian religious women, would be a chart busting smash. "Minchia, I think we have a hit on our hands."

Too bad the good "Angel of Record Sales" didn't think so.

 

Julian - Julius Caesar's cousin
 
 
Subscribe today to the best Italian news ezine in the history of the Roman Empire, pizza, and electricity.
Fill in the form to subscribe to the newsletter:
Your E-mail address:
Subscribe Unsubscribe
 
   Send this to a friend!
 
"Only In Italy" Archives
"Only In Italy" Archives
 
February 2015
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
 
January 2015
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
 
December 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31      
 
November 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30            
 
October 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31  
 
September 2014
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30        
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
July 2010
January 2010
December 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
May 2009
April 2009
December 2008
August 2008
May 2008
February 2008
December 2007
September 2007
July 2007
May 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
April 2005
March 2005
January 2005
December 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
 
May not be copied, stored or redistributed without prior, written permission. "Only In Italy" is a registered trademark of FromItaly di Ciccarello.