Respect! Respect! Respect!
You're a marvelous person and deserve to be recognized and treated with lots of respect. You know that you're always right and everyone else is wrong but still certain people refuse to quietly accept this fact about you. Why is that?
Have you ever experienced similar problems like these?
-Your inconsiderate & ugly neighbors who are immobile from liquor put their garbage in your cans because theirs are full!
-Being ignored while you insist that you weren't speeding and the light was still yellow!
-Moron relatives who tell you, "Your child isn't learning enough in school."
-Your wife's very interesting friends have to explain to you why it's so difficult to keep a pair of socks together and why you'll always lose one!
-Your husband's friend who majored in politics and urinating in college tells you your college degree brought you nowhere!
-Nobody secretaries, receptionists and personal assistants for powerful people who have nothing better to do than treat you like crap on the phone! "And this is regarding...? And you are....? But I don't think..."
-The landlord you're renting from thinks he/she can stroll into your apartment anytime and not be arrested for trespassing or sexual harassment!
-Your boss explains to you why workman's comp' won't cover your near-fatal tragedy!
-Your cousin who's happy she can get her shoes on the right feet tells you to stop complaining!
-Stupid jokes that people just keep telling and telling and TELLING you!
-Your aunt who's face is an advertisement for hard liquor tells you you should get a facial tuck here and there!
-Your husband goes to the bathroom with a magazine in his hand and stays in there for a half hour. What the hell is he doing in there for so long and why won't he answer you?
-Your boss who expects you to work for free!
-Your coworker who's the company's version of a shoeshine boy gives you career advice!
-Loser relatives, friends and coworkers who have to explain to you how everything that happens in their lives compares to Godfather 1, 2, 3 and The Sopranos!
Excuse me...where's my respect?!
Were you put on this planet to deal with people's ignorance? Are you wearing a T-shirt with the words, "I have lots of free time! Tell me your problems!?" Of course not! You're a marvelous person, remember? You deserve lots of respect!
Here in Sicily, the most important religion we constantly teach ourselves is the religion of how to get lots and lots of respect! We constantly beat this religion into our heads like an infamous group of fanatics.
"Sei niente senza rispetto!" You're nothing without respect! Are you getting enough respect? Of course not! Well, maybe you're receiving lots of it but you know it's never enough!
Well, now you can let them know what you think of them...Sicilian style!
Explain your problem to Signore Peppino and he'll make sure his consultants mail a threatening but very funny mafia letter straight from Corleone, Sicily, to that special someone! Samples! FAQs Order now!
|Each letter is handwritten (time permitting) on the business letterhead of his company: Peppino's Insurance Company. "We'll protect you...one way or another."
Mailed and postmarked directly from Corleone, Sicily!
Mailed by Global Priority Mail (6-8 days to the USA) because it has to get there fast!
- (So sorry! We don't send death nor physical threats mainly because it's against any law in any country on this planet and Mars.)