Send a Mafia Threat from Corleone, Sicily!

	Peppino's Insurance Co. *"We'll protect you...one way or another!"*
Piazza Repubblica, 145 - Corleone 90034 - Sicily ITALY Dear Signorina Amy Gnats, Buon Giorno, Signorina Gnats! How are you today and have you enjoyed your St. Valentine's Holiday? You didn't enjoy it, did you? Signorina Gnats, I would appreciate it if you would just shut your fat trap for one moment and reflect upon this letter. I am writing to you regarding complaints we've received from a number of Italian men from the entire state of Ohio. It has come to our attention that your cocky, aggressive, and self-centered Greek attitude towards the Italian male race is turning into a real nuisance and it should be moderated drastically! In other words, you've become a real pain in the ass and everyone is starting to get tired of it. We can't understand your insane behavior, Signorina. How could you possibly state that the Greeks are better than the Italians? Do you know your history? What a stupid and embarrassing declaration from your part. The last improvements to Greece were made by Aristotle Onassis and its been downhill ever since. Even Jackie Kennedy had to get the hell out of there. Regardless of what comes out of your loud mouth, our fellow Italians have asked us to intervene. How could it be possible that a great piece of Greek ass like yourself is still available? After all, your cursing, smoking and spitting could even make gay guys go straight. We would also like clarification on your so-called "killer" legs. Does it mean you can snap a guy's neck on the first squeeze? If that's the case then a career in "Corleone Consulting" could be for you. If the "killer" legs won't kill them, the sexy scent of the Icy-Hot on your feet certainly will. Signorina Amy, you have a big problem. You don't comprehend that men (Greek, Italian, midgets, it doesn't matter) prefer women who keep their feminine side somewhat together and keep the mystery alive. A horseshoe crab is more feminine than you. And try to keep your ass trim and in place because it makes guys' private parts want to pack up and leave. You're special. We are all aware of that, Signorina Gnats. You're entitled to the world’s gifts. When you walk into a museum it should donate Greek art work to you. Men should drop to their knees when they see you trolling around for trout in your orthopedic shoes. How do you say, "kneel down", in Greek? Signorina Gnats, we sincerely hope you will reflect upon these words of wisdom. Pull yourself together and start acting like a lady. If we hear that your attitude and big mouth get out of place again, then we will see about getting you a few commercials promoting hard liquor. Tanti Saluti, Don Peppino